Posts Tagged 'Church'

Get Help If You Need It

Greg had been in town for six months. Long enough to buy a house and move his family half-way across the country. He had accepted his new position with mixed feelings, because of having to leave close friends and the security of a mediocre job. But soon after he started his new job, he was glad he had made the move. He had more opportunities for advancement and enjoyed his work more than he had in years. His family fell in love with the city quickly and made many new friends. Greg was on top of the world. Then, quite unexpectedly, the company announced a massive lay off and, just like that, he was out of work.

Greg’s reaction was fear and sadness. He blamed himself for the job loss and letting his family down. He couldn’t think about finding a new job because he was so full of negative feelings. When he finally voiced his frustration out loud in front his friends and heard their reaction, he was able to see that what had happened was not his fault. They gave him just the help he needed.

If your job search is bogged down because of how you feel, perhaps you need help, too. Talk to a counselor if you don’t feel comfortable discussing your feelings with a friend or family member. You may feel counseling is a luxury you can’t afford when you’re not sure when the next paycheck will come in. However, the encouragement you get from a professional counselor may be just what is needed to get you on track. The cost may not be as much as you think. Many counseling services base fees on the ability to pay.

Often, people turn to their church or other organizations for help at no cost. Many churches now provide one-on-one counseling through a program called Stephen Ministry and a part of their training is how to support people who have lost their jobs. Another approach is to join a twelve-step job loss recovery group. You’ll learn how job loss affects others and realize your feelings are not unique. Whether you talk or just listen, attending meetings helps restore self-confidence and pride.

If you have strong feelings which interfere with your ability to get a job, seek professional advice and attend recovery group meetings. In addition, you can improve how you feel through acceptance, exercise, and support.

Acceptance weakens negative feelings. Tell someone how you feel. If you’re angry, say so. Sad? Talk about it. Feelings are neither right nor wrong so don’t judge yourself. You have a good reason to feel the way you do.

Another way to decrease anger and depression is to get a good workout. Even a walk around the block can make you feel better.

Don’t sit around feeling sorry for yourself. You’ll only feel worse. Be with friends. Laugh. Do something fun. Ask for a hug when you need one.

Feelings such as anger, fear and sadness, which often accompany the loss of a job, can block you from finding a new one. Don’t let your feelings interfere with your job search. You can find a way to get help.


Sidney W. Frost, B.A., M.S.

The author's job-search advice has appeared in more than forty newspapers and other publications around the country. He has worked as a corporate recruiter in information technology and, as an IT supervisor has reviewed many applications and held many interviews over the years in both the private and public sector. His knowledge of the emotional impact of a job loss comes from his own experience as well as training received to help people who have lost jobs and faced other losses.

Mr. Frost is also the author of the Job Seekers' Attitude Adjustment Guide which is available in paperback and Kindle editions as well as two inspirational novels. See for information. His other blog, The Christian Bookmobile/ talks about reading and writing.

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